As I sit in his room late this night, I see my son struggling.  Struggling to breath on his own, struggling to awaken so that he can see those around him. I see him struggle to be comfortable with wires coming out of places in his body that they were not meant to be.  I see him struggle, and I struggle.  I struggle with understanding why I could not be there in his place.  I struggle with wondering why God allows bad things to happen to good, young people.  I struggle with knowing that I cannot fix anything for my son.  Those are real struggles.  This is real life.  There are times when the struggle can overwhelm us and it is hard.

What I do not struggle with is knowing that my son’s life is in God’s hands.  In fact, so is my life.  I do not struggle with knowing that God still loves me, even though my son lies in this hospital bed.  I do not struggle with believing that God has a purpose for all of this, and that God is interested in how I respond during this journey.  He is making me who He wants me to be.  He is making Josiah who He wants him to be as well.  There is no struggle with believing that God is in control of all things, and that every detail of the situation that I find myself in at this moment was planned out long ago.  God works from the future back, so I do not struggle with believing God has already been to the end of this, and there is good that He has planned.

There is nothing wrong with the struggle.  It pushes us towards a loving Father that is there with His arms wide open to embrace us.  We do not wish for the struggle.  We would have a pie in the sky type of life that is a fairy tale with no struggle at all.  I would never have asked for this for my son.  But I would never take away the opportunity for God to work in His life or in my family through this struggle.  Pray we run into God’s arms and continue to find the comfort of His embrace.

2 Corinthians 6:7 “We have spoken the truth, and God’s power has worked in us. In all our struggles we have said and done only what is right.”